mental health

Tattoo-sday – Shoulder Constellation

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I love tattoos, obviously. I have 15 of them thus far, and I definitely plan on getting more. While it may look like a randomly colorful hodgepodge, each one means something equally important to me. They all have a story, big or small, silly or serious. Each one is important, so I want to share those stories with you!

Up first, the constellation on my shoulder:

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After I got divorced, I was in a rough spot. I was living on my own for the first time, far away from my family, and a first-time single adult. Yikes.

When I was feeling extra lonely, I would go outside and look at the stars. It felt safe knowing that I could find the constellation Orion whatever state I was in. When the world felt like it was spinning too fast, I just had to look to the sky and find my anchor.

A few months after my divorce, I had my very first panic attack.

I wasn’t sure what to do. I couldn’t breathe, my apartment felt simultaneously too small and too large at the same time, and I wasn’t sure my limbs worked anymore. After two hours of walking laps in the local park trying to catch my brain, I was exhausted.

I felt like I had no control over my life. I needed something that felt like my choice instead of anyone else’s. When everything was swirling past me, there had to be a small moment in time that was mine and mine alone.

I Yelped tattoo parlors and found a shop nearby with female artists, which felt safe. I knew I wanted something that felt like home, and the stars were the first thing that came to mind. I didn’t need to wait for the clouds to pass; my touchstone could be just a glimpse down.

Two hours later, and the stars were mine to keep.

 

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